and the long fall down
Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. All this I will give you,” he said, “if you bow down and worship me.
Then Jesus said: “Away from me Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.'”
Then the devil left him, and the angels came and attended him.
Ok, truth time!
Many years ago as I mentioned on my home page I received from God the desire to do his work, by putting my thoughts down on paper, (actually in a word processor). My faith was new and I was eager and willing to express that new found faith into something that was concrete; something that would make a difference in somebody’s life.
I had always enjoyed writing, when I was young I would write short stories about King Arthur and the knights of the round table. As I got older I tried my hand at longer mystery books. The farthest I got was about two hundred pages, but then I got stuck and didn’t know where to go with it.
After I became a Christian I grew excited about my new found faith and thought that God was pushing me in the direction of becoming a pastor. No problem there, I was married had two young children and I would have had to quit work and go to school for at least 4 years. Right!
Though she understood; my wife gently (ok maybe not so gently) reminded me that in order to become a minister a person had to have patience with people and not be judgemental. Which is something that I have struggled with my entire life, even today, I have problems not judging people just because I think it’s wrong in the eyes of God.
As I began writing the words just flowed out of me, I used symbolism to make scripture come alive with some past experiences thrown in. I can remember one of them our pastor was so touched by that he read it in a church service. I think it was about where we went after we passed and put in the ground. The inspiration for my posts Life after death:In a box, part one and two came from some of my memories of that short writing.
But as it turned out, that was the biggest mistake that could have happened to me. My pride started to get in the way. I began having visions of becoming a successful writer and making lots of money. I kept telling myself that I was still doing it for all the right reasons but all I was doing was lying to myself. Satan was giving me a glimpse of the top of the mountain and I fell for it hook line and sinker.
Finally the inspiration started drying up. Life got in the way no matter how hard I tried the desire just wasn’t there anymore until finally it was just swept away into the back of my mind. It would resurface every so often but I would just sweep it away. Until the idea of this blog came to me a few months ago.
Do I still want to write a book, Yes I do but the reasons are different now, I don’t want to see the top of that mountain only to fall from it again. The pain of the landing is just too hard to bare. But what I do want to accomplish is do the Lord’s work and use falling off that mountain as a way to help struggling people find a way to get back on their feet after falling off their own mountain
Will I struggle with the pride, YES; for I am still human, but now with God’s help I can finally yell “Away from me Satan”