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and the long fall down

Photo by M Venter on

Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. All this I will give you,” he said, “if you bow down and worship me.

Then Jesus said: “Away from me Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.'”

Then the devil left him, and the angels came and attended him.

Matthew 4:8-11

Ok, truth time!

Many years ago as I mentioned on my home page I received from God the desire to do his work, by putting my thoughts down on paper, (actually in a word processor). My faith was new and I was eager and willing to express that new found faith into something that was concrete; something that would make a difference in somebody’s life.

I had always enjoyed writing, when I was young I would write short stories about King Arthur and the knights of the round table. As I got older I tried my hand at longer mystery books. The farthest I got was about two hundred pages, but then I got stuck and didn’t know where to go with it.

After I became a Christian I grew excited about my new found faith and thought that God was pushing me in the direction of becoming a pastor. No problem there, I was married had two young children and I would have had to quit work and go to school for at least 4 years. Right!

Though she understood; my wife gently (ok maybe not so gently) reminded me that in order to become a minister a person had to have patience with people and not be judgemental. Which is something that I have struggled with my entire life, even today, I have problems not judging people just because I think it’s wrong in the eyes of God.

As I began writing the words just flowed out of me, I used symbolism to make scripture come alive with some past experiences thrown in. I can remember one of them our pastor was so touched by that he read it in a church service. I think it was about where we went after we passed and put in the ground. The inspiration for my posts Life after death:In a box, part one and two came from some of my memories of that short writing.

But as it turned out, that was the biggest mistake that could have happened to me. My pride started to get in the way. I began having visions of becoming a successful writer and making lots of money. I kept telling myself that I was still doing it for all the right reasons but all I was doing was lying to myself. Satan was giving me a glimpse of the top of the mountain and I fell for it hook line and sinker.

Finally the inspiration started drying up. Life got in the way no matter how hard I tried the desire just wasn’t there anymore until finally it was just swept away into the back of my mind. It would resurface every so often but I would just sweep it away. Until the idea of this blog came to me a few months ago.

Do I still want to write a book, Yes I do but the reasons are different now, I don’t want to see the top of that mountain only to fall from it again. The pain of the landing is just too hard to bare. But what I do want to accomplish is do the Lord’s work and use falling off that mountain as a way to help struggling people find a way to get back on their feet after falling off their own mountain

Will I struggle with the pride, YES; for I am still human, but now with God’s help I can finally yell “Away from me Satan”


  1. Your photos are heartfelt with the message that you are sending out to others. I don’t know you or your full story, however, I can feel your love for Hod, your family and wanting to reach others in a positive and meaningful way. I’m thankful I ran across a post you had that I wanted to see if you had more positive posts, and I don’t normally go clicking around to find the person who personally posted, because a lot of things are copied or borrowed from another page and so on. That’s great because your post gets put out there for the world to click around and see. That’s how God is using you in your walk right now and imagine how many people you have, will, and already touched with just your one post that caused me to search for more from you. God gave you a talent and he knows our flaws, we all have both. It’s what we do with what we’ve been given that matters most. If you wasted your love of writing, communication with others, your commitment to God as a Christian, your desire to serve, and on your own decided to do what you want to do for God with the right intentions, but that’s not exactly what Gods calling you to do, you’re missing out on the ways that God has plans for you. He sees the big picture, every slide. He already knows how the movie ends. You have a supportive wife and family and I appreciate your wife speaking to you in truth and love about how she felt. And I’m sure it wasn’t easy for her since your passion for serving in a church setting was something you sounded was a great opportunity and a dream come true. Just from my view, a wife who has stood by her husband and supported him in his endeavors is a blessing and a rare gift. God instituted the family before the church, and that being said, as husband and wife had children becoming a family, God blessed you. He wants the best for you and what’s best for your family. Church is important, I in no way want that to be misinterpreted and I hope you will have an understanding of what I am trying to say. I believe you have found your place, your calling and purpose as of now. Who knows what God has planned for any of us tomorrow. I’m grateful for seeing your post and it leading me to your thoughts and other writings. May you feel Gods continued calling for your life, walk with him and seek his will. Bless you, your wife and your family bountiful and I pray you will continue to bless others with your compassion, bold witnessing and the love within your heart.
    Best Regards,
    Angie Ashmore Kruse

    1. I can’t put into words what you said has meant to me. I struggle constantly with self confidence with my ability to speak Gods words. Sometimes I feel like moses in front of pharoah trying to free God’s people. So this means more to me than you can imagine. If you want to read more my main blog is landscapeofhopel. To see where my faith started check out “in a box: life after death” parts 1 and 2. Again thank you so much for your kind words. And God Bless!

    2. I’m sorry I should have told you the complete website. It is if you have any issues please don’t hesitate to let me know. Again thank you.

    3. I have reposted life after death 1 an 2. Would love to hear your feed back

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